I asked my oldest son “what are your memories of the month we had living up the road from Gramps?” He was only 5 when Gramps died so I was curious as to what his mind held on to.
“I remember he could eat in the living room and I could not.”
Mom had a rule of no food in the living room. It stuck out because it was different then our eat where you are way of being just up the road. My son has always been aware when things were slanted away from his favor. Until he mentioned this I had completely forgotten his frustration with this little fact.
We never talked to much about what was happening with Gramps. He knew he had cancer. He was sick in a big way. He had a friend, just a year older then him, who was also battling cancer in big and scary way. This disease was not new to our family. I am certain he thought the cancer was the reason Gramps could eat in the living room.
I explained it was probably cause Gramps was older and maybe thought to have better control over his messes. And then I told him hilarious stories of the number of glasses of red wine that careful Gramps had decorated the living room carpets with. His talking hands were always a danger to his wobbly wine glass.